We're now halfway through 2025 and the financial world resembles a soap opera where the plot twists come faster than a Jerome Powell backflip on interest rates.
This week's news served up enough drama to make TV producers rethink making another season of The Apprentice: currency collapses, tech billionaire punch-ups, and renewable energy dreams hitting the rocks like a poorly navigated yacht in Sydney Harbour.
Welcome to a new financial year and another week in business, where sane planning and sensible communication took a holiday and market volatility once again became the centre of attention.
GREENBACK GETS WALLOPED
The U.S. dollar is having a midlife crisis of epic proportions, having plummeted an eye-whopping 10.8% in FY 2025 - its worst start since oil embargoes were all the rage (1973).
Investors are fleeing USD assets faster than rats from a sinking ship, as Trump's tariff tantrums create the kind of uncertainty that makes Brexit negotiations look like a Sunday picnic.
Bank of America's latest poll shows the biggest underweight greenback positioning since the Clinton administration, as over US$100 billion has stampeded into European equity funds this year.
That's a threefold increase from last year.
Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell threw Trump under the bus with all the subtlety of a freight train, telling European central bankers that the Fed would've already cut rates if not for the "great unknown" of Trump's economic realpolitik.
Perhaps it's Powell's diplomatic way of saying "blame him, not me" that has Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent accusing him of being "traumatised" - pot, meet kettle.
At this rate, the only thing more volatile than Trump's tariff policy is his relationship with his own appointees.
And Trump gave us a taste of his infamous Art of the Deal by negotiating a 20% tariff with Vietnam - down from the 46% sledgehammer he was threatening in the first place.
SILICON VALLEY SOAP OPERA
The technology sector unleashed peak entertainment this week as Elon Musk essentially declared war on his former boss Donald Trump, calling the President's US$5 trillion spending spree "debt slavery" for future generations.
That's rich coming from the man who spent over US$275 million getting Trump elected, but Musk has never been one to let consistency get in the way of a good social media tantrum.
The Tesla chief now says he'll form the "America Party" and weaponise primaries against what he terms the “Democrat-Republican uniparty”.
Speaking of billionaires, the tech elite continued their great cash-out of 2025.
Jeff Bezos pocketed another US$737 million by dumping 3.3 million Amazon shares on the back of paying for lavish Venice weddings that cost more than most countries' GDP.
The exodus includes Michael Dell's eye-watering US$1.2 billion selldown and billions in NVIDIA insider sales - because nothing says "I believe in the future" quite like running for the exit door.
The irony reaches delicious heights as Microsoft simultaneously axes thousands of jobs - up to 9,000 workers or 4% of its workforce.
Apparently, the future of artificial intelligence requires fewer humans. Whodathunkit?
RENEWABLE ENERGY REALITY CHECK
Australia's green energy fairy tale hit a rather large pothole this week as BlueFloat Energy contemplates doing a runner from its Australian operations.
The Spanish wind developer's potential exit would leave Victoria's ambitious 95% renewable target looking shaky.
Between rising costs, supply chain chaos, and transmission infrastructure issues, it turns out building wind farms in the ocean is slightly more complex than assembling IKEA furniture.
The International Energy Agency - masters of understatement - noted that offshore energy project costs have risen 40% due to “supply chain woes and persistently high inflation”.
In other words, everything costs more and nothing runs smoothly.
AUSSIE ECONOMIC TURBULENCE
Closer to home, the economic news continues its tradition of being about as uplifting as a hole in the ground.
Australia's trade surplus collapsed to its lowest level since 2020, hitting A$2.24 billion in May - well below the A$5 billion markets were expecting.
The only silver lining?
Soft retail sales are boosting RBA rate cut expectations, because nothing says economic health like consumers refusing to spend money.
However that's being contradicted by the ABS, which showed household spending was higher in May, as Australians dress up and dine out more.
And eternal optimists at the Commonwealth Bank have proclaimed Australia is entering a new era of instability, likening our current predicament to the 1970s.
CORPORATE COMEDY HOUR
The corporate world served up its usual mix of incompetence and drama…
Qantas managed to get hacked - exposing six million customer records - because apparently running an airline wasn't challenging enough without adding cybersecurity disasters to the mix.
And Bupa copped a record $35 million fine for the counter-intuitive practice of refusing to pay valid insurance claims.
Who could've imagined an insurance company trying to avoid paying out? Next they'll be telling us banks charge fees.
In the entertainment sector, Nine is muscling in on Optus's EPL broadcasting rights, while Star's casino partners walked away from Brisbane.
GOLD GLITTERS
Senior Business Writer Cameron Drummond scoured Western Australia's mining scene - which seems to continue to supply only genuinely good news - with Brightstar Resources building its Goldfields empire and MinRes closing one chapter and opening another.
Gold is set to become Australia's third-highest export by 2026, confirming that when everything else goes down the gurgler, shiny rocks remain a reliable investment. There's a metaphor in there somewhere.
TRADING FLOOR THEATRICS
Senior Business Writer Mark Story chronicled the week's market madness across multiple trading reports:
- Gold Hydrogen, WIA, and PME came up roses, with Gold Hydrogen jumping 8% after Japanese giants Toyota, Mitsubishi Gas Chemical, and Eneos threw $14.5 million at the hydrogen dream
- Superloop and James Hardie climbed as Green tanked - because markets love nothing more than a good old-fashioned mood swing
- SGH dipped as Biome, IAG, and SUN climbed
- Helia and Domino's tanked as Lake surged 11% - establishing that pizza and insurance don't always deliver
- Cameron Drummond took to the floor with his rendition of tech stocks investors could quantum leap into
Story also offered a snapshot of FY25's winners and losers, essential reading this year for anyone who enjoys watching money disappear.
GLOBAL SHENANIGANS
International affairs added their usual dose of chaos, with Iran playing hard to get after banning nuclear inspections as the U.S. considers throwing US$30 billion at the problem.
Because nothing solves international relations quite like throwing cash at it - the diplomatic equivalent of turning it off and on again.
The tech sector continued its identity crisis with Kotaku being flogged off to Keleops and Spotify's CEO annoying artists with his defence startup dabbling.
Apparently, streaming music isn't lucrative enough without a side hustle in weapons.
THE WEEK'S CAST:
Our crack team of journos unleashed their usual mix of insight and investigation…
- Cameron Drummond warned that mining policy remains a double-edged sword and highlighted the perfect storm brewing between AI and EVs
- Harlan Ockey covered the U.S. Senate's narrow passage of Trump's 'big beautiful' spending bill
- Mark Story chronicled the week's market madness with Gold Hydrogen, WIA, and PME coming up roses, as Gold Hydrogen jumped 8% after Japanese giants Toyota, Mitsubishi Gas Chemical, and Eneos threw $14.5 million at the hydrogen dream, plus delivered his comprehensive snapshot of FY25's winners and losers
- Oliver Gray furnished FX analysis with the DXY hitting three-year lows - because who doesn't love a good currency collapse?
- Garry West examined Tesla's contrarian performance among mega-company trends
- Chloe Jaenicke reported on UTS staff buckling under pressure and Asia Pacific's luxury travel evolution
- Andrew Banks crafted reports on Australia's millionaire tax avoiders, Bezos burning through $1.1 billion on a Venice wedding, and Nissan's cash flow hiccups
Other notable developments include CoStar's Domain bid getting the thumbs up, someone still trying to buy Insignia Financial, alleged power market rigging causing a kerfuffle, and Trump gossiping about wealthy TikTok circlers.
We also examined investment lessons from the AI revolution, ASPI's research security concerns, and a fascinating study on how financial media telegraphs market volatility.
STAY TUNED
As markets brace for another week of dignified chaos, the convergence of political theatre, technological disruption, and shifting global power dynamics suggests we're in for more of the same delightful uncertainty.
With central banks performing high-wire acts without safety nets, executives cashing out faster than punters leaving a losing racetrack, and geopolitical tensions bubbling like a forgotten pot on the stove, investors might want to keep their crash helmets handy.
After all, in a world where the reserve currency is in free fall, tech billionaires are having public social media spats with presidents, the only certainty is that next week will be just as entertaining.
Buckle up - it's going to be a bumpy ride.
